One of my largest faults is that I cannot communicate well. It’s not that I am illiterate; it’s that I speak and express myself in ways that are not the norm. People often say that I am like a younger version of Temperance Brennan from the TV show Bones and I am inclined to agree, not just because she is my favorite TV show character, but because I can relate to her.
I’m not learned in pop-culture, I process information according to facts, refuse to come to a conclusion unless all of the facts add up and there is absolutely no falsity I can find, and I am a horrible people person because I cannot empathize well on an individual to individual level. When I explain something I do so in objective, straight forward terms or use words with specific, by the dictionary distinctions that are generally only used in academic settings, and the manner in which I deliver the explanation is a blunt truth, without any editing, causing me to come across as insulting, cold, distant, and/or as though I am speaking down on a person. I don’t mean to do this, and I don’t want to seem like some ‘elitist’ (something I don’t see myself as being nor something I wish to be), however, there is no other way for me to express what I mean except in those terms – each placement of a word in a sentance has a purpose, and I require that they be understood in that context so that I can communicate my idea/thought correctly to another person. However, humanity doesn’t like this sort of communication and I am often at odds with people over things we actually agree on simply because I fail to state the agreed upon idea in normal terms.
The fact of the matter is, as much as I love Dr. Temperance Brennan and how well I can relate to her, it is tough to swallow the fact that whenever I try to give an explanation people will assume me stuck-up, rude, a know-it-all, full of it, spewing useless information, and that there is really only a few people who are willing to put up with me, let alone are willing to attempt to get to know me for who I am. I have a few close friends – my own Booth, Angela, Hodgins, Camille, Zack, and Sweets – but like Brennan, only my Booth and Angela really understand me and they are the ones that I rely on to help me understand when I am not saying things normally. I am deeply greatful to have these people in my life, and I am sure they know who they are — truly, you guys keep me from falling into despair when I’m overcome with annoyance with myself due to my communication failures.
Yet, this is who I am: an unorthodox communicator.